daniathedreamer

Sep 28, 2020

2 min read

Its not all fun and games being a shoulder to cry on.

I’ve been suffering a lot with my mental health.

Being the person people rely on isn’t the easiest job. They tend to take you for granted sometimes because they forget that you’re also human. A human who has their own inner turmoil and someone who is suffering from temporary mental health issues.

They don’t see that because you don’t want to show it to them or even if they do, they still vent out their problems because somehow in their mind, their issues are worse than yours.

It’s not that I don’t like being there for people but it’s not all fun and games listening and giving them advice that fits in the moment when you yourself are dying on the inside. Where you literally want to cry your eyes out but you don’t because they need you.

I’ve been suffering a lot with my mental health for the past couple of weeks to the point where I haven’t been able to function properly.

Everyday I would wake up and go to bed wanting to die, wanting to harm myself. There was no one particular reason, I was just done, still am to some level to be honest.

There have been a lot of external and internal factors that have been boiling up inside of me and I’ve been extremely negative which is something that I don’t like because I’m not usually a negative person. I like giving out positive vibes, it just makes me and others around me feel good.

But does one good day really cancel out all the shit that you were feeling? It feels weird because the question remains— is all the negativity gone or will it come back?