I decided to take a few days off.

It took a while but I’m in a much better place now.

I wasn’t at my best for the past few days so I decided to take some time off and re-evaluate my style of writing. It felt like I had lost the purpose of what I came here to do.

The purpose was to talk about things to help people by letting them know that they are not alone in whatever they are facing.

The past month or so have been extremely challenging for me as I feel like I have lost my way in life and I became extremely negative in my way of thinking which is the opposite of who I am and what I stand for as a person.

I tried to shuffle through what I was feeling to get myself out of the ditch that I fell in, I realised that a close friend of mine was the person draining me of energy and I was taking in all of her negativity. It’s not her fault and as bad as I feel thinking that way about her, that is just the truth and unfortunately that is how I have been feeling towards her.

My underlying struggle.

I may or may not have previously mentioned an ex who partially took away a piece of me.

We studied photography together and in the process of helping me learn, I unlearned all that I knew and lost 98% of my confidence in something that I had considered to be my passion.

It’s been 2 and a half years since I left him and I've been in therapy since then dealing with the after effects of him.

It took a while but I'm in a much better place now.

I’m still struggling with my photography though. Not knowing what to do with myself in the long run is very frustrating and emotionally taxing. I can’t and shouldn't use him as an excuse anymore but I don’t know what to do with myself.

THIS is my constant struggle.

I know that a lot of people don’t realise their ‘purpose’ in life for a very long time and I am one of those people. Not everyone has the answer, I certainly don’t and I’m clueless to when it will finally dawn upon me.

I know it won’t just come to me sitting in my living room but I have just recently started getting reacquainted with my camera. I have not set a goal nor do I know where I am headed, I’m taking baby steps because that’s all that I have in me right now.

I know I will get ‘somewhere’ eventually but that somewhere is also unknown.

We all have our struggles, one bigger than the other and we cannot solve all of them but what we can do is try to make them smaller so that they don’t seem as intimidating as they are in the present moment.

Things will work out somehow, I don’t know how but they just will.